Abridged Guide to Evil Wikia

Known entries from "Two Hundred Heroic Axioms", compiled from the Epigraphs

1. First, do good. Interlude: Legends V

17. Always agree when offered to share in the rule of the world by a villain. The three to four heartbeats of sheer surprise that will earn you are a golden opportunity to kill them before it comes to a monologue. Chapter 35: Stroll

19. Always help the treacherous lieutenant to kill your nemesis when asked. Even if it’s a plot they’ll likely stick the knife if it looks like you’re winning. Chapter 55: Hail

22. Do not forget the rest of Creation in the pursuit of your nemesis. Small kindnesses are the seed of grand consequences. Evil stays, Good compounds. Prologue

30. While it is a viable tactic to swing using a chandelier or a rope, it is significantly less viable to wear armour when doing so. Chapter 31: Premises

31. Use a sword fit for your height and build, not the largest chunk of metal you can find. It will both improve your life expectancy and save you a great many jokes about overcompensation. Heroic Interlude: Riposte

33. It doesn’t matter how good the sword is, if it talks put it back where you found it. Yes, even if it lets you beat your nemesis. They probably thought their talking sword was a good idea too and look where that got them. Chapter 51: Arsenal

34. It is not graverobbing if it was your destiny to have that artifact, just proactive inheritance. Chapter 39: Looting

37. Theft in the service of Above is not a sin. It is, however, still a crime. Be discreet. Chapter 33: Convenience

41. Should personalities among your band be clashing overmuch, consider leading the band into grave peril. Either friendship or a corpse will ensue, which remedies the issue either way. Winter I

42. Should a disagreement lead one of the party to leave, you should expect combat within the week as you will either be captured to be rescued by the departed or the opposite. Let it happen, as a common enemy will heal all internal disputes and you can share a good laugh over the corpse of your nemesis’ dead lieutenant. Chapter 49: Wrangle

43. If your band is split during a harrowing test set by a villain or ambiguous entity, you may safely assume you will next be reunited in some sort of cell or unfolding sacrificial ritual. Chapter 35: Colloquy

44. Never refuse a companion come to join your journey at the last moment. Whether true or traitor, they represent a necessary opportunity. Chapter 41: Passing

49. If any wizard over the age of fifty suddenly becomes evasive when asked about your parents, you may safely assume yourself to be either royalty or related to your archenemy in some way. Heroic Interlude: Injunction

53. A trusted companion who, after a string of personal disappointments, begins to dress in darker colours should no longer be considered a trusted companion. Chapter 64: Breathe

55. If your powers are lost, they will nearly always return greater than before so long as the appropriate moral lesson is learned. With kindness and humility comes overwhelming martial might. Chapter 89: Sing We Of Ruin

57. The greatest of powers is not an enchanted sword or cataclysmic spell, it is simply to be in the right place at precisely the right time. Interlude: Kingdom

59. It is always better to interrupt a plan than carry one out. Your finest successes will always be the failures of your enemy. Interlude: Queen’s Gambit, Declined

67. Putting an arrow in a villain during their monologue is a perfectly acceptable method of victory. Heroes believing otherwise do not get to retire. Heroic Interlude: Arraignment

73. Always send the comic relief in front if you suspect there’s a trap. The Gods won’t allow you to be rid of them so easily. Heroic Interlude: Balestra

74. If your lover does not have martial training have a rescue plan ready and waiting, as the eventual abduction by your nemesis is essentially inevitable. Interlude: Theism

75. You should never be too friendly or too hostile to a rival. Too friendly means you cannot put aside your rivalry to defeat a common foe; too hostile may drive them to join that very foe. Interlude: Occidental I

83. While it is true that tiger pits and acid floors are generally laughable, that does not mean they stop being lethal when stumbled into. Ludicrous does not equate harmless. Chapter 33: Claimant (Repeat)

84. The only sensible solution to a maze is to not enter the maze. Interlude: Congregation I

87. The secret passage your nemesis will use to escape the fortress can be used to enter that same fortress. They never consider that, for some reason. Chapter 9: Vault

102. Defeat is inevitable, yet it can be just as useful as a victory. Fate assures you at least one loss, so make sure it’s the right kind. – Chapter 46: Abdication

112. Always be kind to any monster held in a cage by your nemesis. When it inevitably gets loose, it will remember the kindness and attempt to destroy the villain instead. Heroic Interlude: Appellant

121. It can be wise to make a truce with a villain to deal with greater threat. Never forget, however, that fear does not make someone trustworthy. Merely afraid. Interlude: So We Shot Him

125. Under no circumstances should you trust anyone who has the title of chancellor, vizier or duke. While they will always be powerful and competent, keep in mind they will also inevitably turn out to be in some way treacherous. Interlude: Deadhand

143. Do not try to avert prophecy, fulfill prophecy or in any way tinker with prophecy. Swallowing poison will lead to a quicker death and less ironic horror inflicted upon Creation. Usurpation

169. Any companion volunteering to stay behind and hold off a superior enemy will be guaranteed success, twice over if having already taken a mortal wound. Chapter 22: Standoffs

187. Should one of your trusted companions be taken hostage at knife-point, check for the following features – cliff, moat, or any kind of sharp drop. Should one be nearby, you may assume the situation will solve itself momentarily. Chapter 62: Verse

193. Should your nemesis offer you a wager, a truce or delay for the first time always accept it. Villains with a fated heroic match have reached the peak of their power, whereas you and your companions can only grow. Chapter 54: Scavenger

199. This list began with the simplest of axioms, the first. In the years since others like you have added to or taken away from it, a chain that goes back further than any of us know, changing and twisting as it grows. In time no two list will be the same, save always in this one regard: there is no two hundredth axiom. That place remains empty, so that once you learn something worth passing down you may fill it yourself. Look forward, as we once did, and let those who come after you learn from our mistakes. What greater gift can there be? Interlude: Legends IV